Poem: Spirituality

**a workshop piece

Speaking from the mountain tops from my mind,

I know it can be hard at times.

Is that truly fine?

I don’t want to become stagnant.

I don’t want to be okay with not pursuing

A greater good in the constant ripple effects of my life.

It’s okay not to be okay,

But it’s not okay to continue perpetuating the idea

Of nothingness.

Prayers are good.

But prayers without legs willing to run,

Or hands willing to climb

In order to reach for the hands that

Pray the most while receiving the least

Is the definition of nothingness.

A black hole of inactivity tempting you by

By blaming the chaos in this world we live in

To tie your hands behind your back

As your source of comfort.

Being a masochist for all the wrong reasons.

Yes, it can be hard to remember

That there is still good in the world to strive for,

Just please don’t forget on purpose.

Don’t fall into the rhythm of a meaningless routine

Because this world fails you.

All you need to know at the end of the day,

It’s going to be 11:59 pm.

Just a minute away for something new

Each day to appear.

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“Which Parent is White?”

You, as an individual, have every right to be curious about the people around you. Questions are always welcome. However, how you ask them, can have consequences of negatively affecting the person you’re asking.

I have lost count of the amount of times someone has asked me “Which parent is white?” when asking me about my racial background. Normally I calmly respond how both of my parents are mixed race, and I still do, but I’ve come to realize the issues with that particular question.

  1. The assumption that every mixed race person, particularly a light-skinned mixed race person, has a white parent.
  2. The assumption that every mixed race person has white descent in general, whether they are light-skinned or dark-skinned.

Both of my parents have white descent, therefore, I happen to have white descent, but placing mixed race identity in a simple binary isn’t good because every mixed race person is has a variety of mixes and backgrounds.

Moreover, when people ask which parent is white, it comes across as if multiracial identity is beautiful only if whiteness is somewhere in the mix. That’s not cool.

I love conversations where people ask “How do you identify?” instead of immediately asking “Which parent is white?” I love conversations where people ask me what growing up was like in the backgrounds I identify with, instead of probing at how “exotic” I am because of blackness mixed with whiteness.

Just food for thought. Let me know what you think.

Awesome Update II

Over a month ago, I submitted a video to the YouTube channel The 100% Mixed Show, a channel that provides content about mixed race identity and mixed race issues. In my video, I followed the format of their #Mixstory guidelines, where I talked about growing up multiracial, the good things about being mixed, the hard things.

Fortunately, that encouraged my sister to want to submit her own #Mixstory to the channel. I was so glad to help her record her and submit the video for her. Check out her story below! I’m so proud of her!

Poem: Body Image

Note: Critiques are always welcome. This is more straightforward than other poems I shared.

Did you know that women are required to have body fat because we have to make the babies?

Did you know that thigh gaps were never a beauty standard

Until a few years ago?

Did you know that Barbie used to a positive influence as a sex doll

Before corporations pleased Ken dolls in human suits enough for them to please themselves

With expectations,

Crushing little girls’ dreams?

Did you know that Ken doesn’t have to have

A large penis to feel masculine?

Did you know that size doesn’t matter,

And that’s not just a statement you say

For underdog penises either?

Did you know that gender is an illusion?

Did you know that we’re all illusions?

Impressionist paintings of various sized strokes

And that it’s not a crime to believe we’re grand masterpieces?

Did you know though I’ve sucked my stomach in

When I looked in the mirror,

While making a silent prayer for a bigger butt?

Did you know that I am the hypocrite from your

Cosmos and Seventeens

And Sports Illustrateds?

Did you know that those pages spread into

People’s skin long enough to make them either

Eat less

Or more,

And can’t shut the magazine until getting past the good part?

Did you know that the good part doesn’t exist,

Because all the best writers create suspense

So that the conflict is never solved?

Did you know that we’re tired of towering standards,

But we don’t know how to knock them down?

Did you know that it took me  years to feel confident

In a bikini?

Did you know that the bikini was revolutionary

Until marketing created the fictional

Bikini Body Look?

Did you know that all you have to do to have “Bikini Body”

Is to just place your body in a bikini

Regardless?

A Different Perspective

It’s all about how flavored wine coolers are better compared to beer; beer tastes like urine. Rancid, carbonated urine. It’s all about being one of the few sober people in the room, sitting uncomfortably on a crowded, beat up couch, watching everyone else in their inebriated foolery. It’s all about either the one sober friend checking on you, or the one drunk friend, or acquaintance, or someone you just met, checking on you, hoping to see you get on their level of fun. It’s about finding amusement in observing everyone’s temporary insanity, finding out how many would want to stay in that temporary, intoxicated insanity forever.

It’s all about how you’re trying to stay above conformity while craving it at the same time, wanting your awkwardness to be swallowed whole with just a couple of bottles, three or four tops. It’s about being referred to as the “good girl,” about wanting you to get drunk already and let loose, and your definition of “loose” is a more contained and acceptable version for yourself compared to the stupid, very sexually active, über emotional individuals around you, crashing into you as if you were invisible, because you are. It’s about realizing how alcohol can make one blind to reality, that piece of reality that includes you, and forgetting that sometimes, as you wonder why that guy chugging a whole keg upside down believes it’s a talent important enough for Carnegie Hall, or why two heterosexual female strangers believe that making out for the hell of it to please hormonal heterosexual men will fulfill them, or why that jerk keeps flirting with you when you clearly stated that you weren’t interested for the hundredth time!

It’s how you see what that character in It’s a Wonderful Life meant when he said that youth was wasted on the wrong people. It’s about how you just want to go home already! It’s how you wonder “My God, why did I come here in the first place?!” It’s how you realize that it was because you already took the sip of conformity you claimed earlier you would never take.

Male Dominance in Popular Songs

Yes, this is a rant.

No, this is not me being a “prude.”

Distracted by mainstream singing voices and a club-like beats, the words can be drowned out when trying to listen to these songs on the radio.

It’s quite demeaning to imply that women want the male(s) singing to them. That is the type of assumption that makes men believe that they aren’t truly masculine unless they get laid, and that men can take women as their property because these type of songs already proclaim it to the heavens.  “Don’t Tell ‘Em” by Jeremih, 2013’s number one song “Blurred Lines,” by Robin Thicke, “B****** Love Me,” by Lil Wayne and Drake, “Jealous,” by Nick Jonas…Breathe.

That’s a reminder for me to breathe, I’m typing it from my head to the page.

It’s revolting how a “sick beat” can keep people from hearing the offense spewed as a way to gain fame and money.

Do an exercise for me.

State, don’t sing, a few of the lyrics of one or more of these songs, or any song with a similar theme, to your mother, your sister, your girlfriend, or your friends who are girls.

Can you?

Poem: Seek Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly

The Bible has often been seen as a doctrinal text.

Too thick of a book

With an infinite amount of metaphors of how to be

A good person.

The very old passages have a picturesque view of God

As an ethereal Hitler.

Unfortunately, the Bible hasn’t been read closely.

If one would read between the lines

Of conspicuous horror,

One could see the manifesto of Kingdom Living

Wanting to rise out of the ashes

Of Eden.

Wanting to go hand in hand

Into the Temple for all nations

And not the evil of a controlling supremacy.

Wanting to be delivered from Heaven on to Earth

To have Justice searched for to be served;

Mercy to be given, received, and loved;

Humble acts written not just to walk or run,

But to dance on the pages of our short,

Desperate, temporary, stories.

We have one chance in this aging realm

To have our literary vocal cords produce the goodness

God intended.

God does not promote

The heinousness that flows in and out

Of the cold caves of genocide,

Poverty, and discrimination.

Reconciliation is the ceaseless draping of

Fresh water for the thirsty life forces in every place

Known and unknown to man on Earth;

But the streamline is cut off daily

Through the selfishness of constructed superior privilege.

It is all Satan

Who created these evil fabrications

And the miserable outcomes of such.

It is Satan who makes the ignorance of the outcomes

Appear so relaxing,

As if a part of God’s call to pay no attention to,

Because Satan says it shouldn’t matter to us.

The convincing, fallen angel has the accursed gift to say that

It especially doesn’t matter to us

If it is not happening to us.

You have such beautiful, clean, fair, unblemished skin

That needs to be calm with no conflict, he soothes.

You deserve all of the fresh water,

Not the inconsequential

Ugly skinned, crippled, sexually immoral, flawed, and/or undeserving

People.

Obviously, Satan does not stand for all.

Jesus stood for all.

Not for supremacy of thieves and dishonorable hyenas

In our chaotic jungle.

Jesus stood for everybody.

Why won’t we do the same?

Gandhi said that he liked our Christ

And not our Christians

Because Christ erupted actual change

Out of his holy volcanic spout

For every underrepresented mortal

To finally be proclaimed as deserving,

To eradicate the lies the enemy has said

Of them being undeserving;

Yet the designated, advantaged individuals

Who should hear God’s call

Do nothing.

Gandhi also said

To be the change

You wish to see in the world.

Why don’t they want effective change?

Why don’t we want change?

It is the only light,

No,

Fire,

That when ultimately presented

Shows results for everyone!

Not just ourselves!

Majority and minority must come together

To pursue the diverse Kingdom Living

We were meant to have.

We aren’t meant to make the faulty sacrifices

Of lambs and firstborns,

We are to seek justice,

Love mercy,

And walk humbly!

What is so doctrinal about that?